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Remote Control Mamas

   Olivia will be here any day now, Aliesha has started to dilate and the due date is only 2 days away!

   Yesterday I made an interesting discovery. I can control Aliesha with a 7kHz tone.  I suppose the same would work with other pregnant women as well.

   Here's how it began. I bought an oscilloscope off of EBay.  I was going to attempt to build a radio without one but everywhere I read people are using them in their radio projects.  When I tried to build the oscillator portion of the transmitter a while back all I had was a frequency counter.  I know I didn't achieve the oscillation I wanted but I felt so blind. I couldn't see what I actually WAS getting.  Once upon a time back in college I bought a nice 2 channel modular Tektronix scope from a pawn shop for $25.  At the time I had put electronics projects aside for school, computer projects and of course chasing girls.  I traded the oscilloscope for something computer related a few days later.  Today I have no idea what that was but I knew I would regret it some day. I started saving up for a scope shortly after failing with the oscillator.  I was going to try to get one at the TMRA hamfest but when I saw a 100MHz dual channel one on EBay with a starting bid of $99.95 and  no one bidding I had to go for it.  Actually, I waited till I got home to check what I had saved and missed it.  Then I bought it at $69.99 when it was re-listed!

   Anyway, yesterday I received the oscilloscope and was excited to try it out.  Does a $70 100MHz oscilloscope even function?  I had a little 7kHz square wave oscillator which I liberated from a friend of a friend's trash bin last summer.  I thought that would be a good test and sure enough, some 5 minutes of desperate, half educated knob tweaking later there it was, an image of a square wave.  Next I tried the output of an old AM radio I built from a kit when I was a kid.  Not content with just assuming the display on the screen matched the output of the radio I jumpered in a speaker so I could hear the radio while the scope was plugged into the headphone jack.  Sure enough, the peaks on the screen matched the loud moments.

   At this point it was too late at night to re-start the transmitter project but I wasn't ready to pack up.  Instead I jumpered the speaker to the oscillator.  I didn't think anything of Aliesha bending over and complaining about the baby kicking at first, it's not uncommon.  After I unhooked it I realized what had just happened.  I told Aliesha.  She yelled 'Never Again!!' of course.  Still, I couldn't leave it at that could I?  I told her this was science, we have to replicate the experiment.  She agreed to letting me do it one more time.  At first nothing happened then, just as I was about to give up she doubled over.  As soon as I unhooked it the baby calmed down a bit.  She was still pretty active so I sung to her and that calmed her down.

   Of course, I can't really recommend doing this.  It's certainly not nice to the mom or the baby.  It's fun to think of though, my little remote control to take over the world... starting with the pregnant women... he he he.  Now I just need to figure out how to control everyone else.  I guess it's no surprise really, it's like the 'mosquito' noise used to keep kids away or as a ring tone to keep teachers clueless.  I was surprised the dog didn't seem interested.  She is used to strange noises though and she was also very tired from playing with her pups (now adults) all day.  Still, if I ever need to clear out the line in front of me at an ice cream shop or baby supply store...

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